I hate the economy. I never thought that it would effect my family, but it's starting to. My Dad bitches about my Mom spending "too much" money at Vons and now, we are shopping at Food 4 Less. Food 4 Less! I fucking hate Food 4 Less. I hate the people who work and shop there. Food 4 Less is such a dirty store to me and considering I suffer from a fear of germs, this does not help. I never want to go back to that store. I want to go back to shopping at Vons. I miss the store, I miss the people, but most of all, I miss Brad. He made me happy, but of course, anyone or anything that makes me happy is taken away from me. My Mom dragged me to Wal-Mart today, too, which I hate Wal-Mart as well. I hate the people who work and shop there. I can't stand the place.

My Dad found my Savings Bond today. He said I could have it and spend the money however I like. He said that I may be able to receive $500, like he did. I looked online and it's only worth $60. What's up with that?

I talked about how I created a Live Journal, which I never thought I would do. I talked about how boring my life was. I talked about my future plans, which consisted of going to a The Academy Is... concert.

I saved Serenity's life today. Amy was in the bathroom talking on the phone, I was standing in the kitchen making my lunch and Serenity was rocking back and forth in the computer chair. I had walked into the pantry to throw something away and I heard the chair hit the computer desk. I thought that Serenity had pushed the chair in, but when I walked out of the pantry, I saw Serenity pinned up against the computer desk. Her neck was in between the computer chair and the computer desk. She couldn't breathe. She was crying her eyes out and she screamed my name. I ran over to her and helped her out. I yelled for Amy and she ran over to Serenity. She said that she never heard Serenity scream. If it wasn't for me, who knows what would have happened to Serenity.

I can't stop thinking about her face when she screamed for me. She was scared to death. I was scared to death. I thought my niece was going to die right in front of my eyes. My worst fear is that my niece will die and it almost happened.

I'm in love.

I have been scared to death to tell anyone because I thought that everyone would think I'm insane. I'm not scared anymore, though. I have no problem announcing to the world that I am in love. I don't care what anyone else thinks because no one else matters, except him. I was scared to death that everyone would think I'm in love with him for all the wrong reasons. I don't care what people think anymore, though. I'm in love with him for him, not for where I see him or what he does. I have only been able to talk to one person about him and with her help, she helped me realize that I am not insane and that it doesn't matter what anyone might think or might say. She has supported me from day one. She has never thought I was insane. She never judged me or said anything mean to me. I love her and she is my best friend.

"He's like a open book waiting to be read." - Her.

I've been having problems with two friends lately. I talked to both of them today. One conversation went well, but the other conversation didn't go to well.

My one friend and I have been having a rough time the last week. I thought she didn't want to be my friend anymore. I was mad, but mostly hurt at her actions. I've been known to blow up at her and instead of saying something to here at the time the incident happened, I waited a couple days until I could cool down. Her and I talked today and for probably the first time ever, we were able to express our feelings in a cool, calm matter. We worked out the problem and I think we are better than ever.

My other friend and I have also been having a rough time, but it's been lasting a month or so. I thought she acted extremely rude to me one day, but I never said anything to her. We didn't talk too much for about a month or so and we finally started talking a couple days ago. I felt like she continued to be rude to me, though I did nothing to her. It was making me extremely mad and I said something about it indirectly to her. She tried to tell me that I had a attitude and that I was being a bitch to everyone. I was shocked. I didn't think I was acting like a bitch to anyone. I have acted bitchy towards people before and each person have spoken up about it to me, but no one has said anything to me about me acting like a bitch in the recent week. I tried to explain to her how I felt about her, but it's like talking to a cement wall. I couldn't take talking to her anyone. It was going nowhere. I have dealt with this stupid teenage girl drama and I did not want to deal with it anymore, especially when the other person is not listening to anything you say. I have no clue where our friendship is going, but I'm not going to put in any effort to try and fix it. If it's meant to be fixed, it will be.

Happy Birthday, PaPa.
 

Angels - 6
Red Sox - 3

I didn't think I could make it through the game, but I did. The beginning of the game was beautiful. A dedication video played. John Lackey and Torii Hunter held up Nick's jersey as they had a moment of silence. The Angels now have a Nick banner on the wall in the side of the field. The Angels won the game. They won the game for Nick. I don't think I've ever cried that hard over a Baseball game in my whole life.
 

Nick Adenhart, pitcher for the Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim, was killed last night following last night's game. A drunk driver ran a red light and crashed into his car, which crashed into a pole. Three people were killed and one is in critical condition. Nick was only 22 years old.

I can not believe this. I woke up this morning, turned on the TV and the first thing I see is, "Angels Pitcher Killed." My heart dropped right into my stomach. I ran out into the living room and told my Mom. She turned on the news and we heard that Nick was killed. Nick was a rookie and he played the best game he had ever played last night against the Oakland's Athletics. He was killed only a hour and a half after the game was over. I am in utter shock. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to know why someone like him would be killed. The drunk driver already had a previous DUI and his license is suspended. He hit Nick's car and ran away from the scene. How can someone do that? How can you live with yourself? I am so mad. I can't believe someone who do that. I can't believe someone so young, who has their whole life ahead of them, would die and in such a terrible way. I heard someone say that Nick's only dream was "to pitch in the Major League." I wanted to burst into tears when I heard that. He has such a good life ahead of him and it was ended because of someone's stupid mistake. I am devastated.

When my Dad came home from work, he told me that he was listening to the radio and someone called in to the radio station, asking advice on how she should tell her nephew he died. My Dad thought it was stupid that someone would ask that and someone would be so upset by his death, who wasn't a family or a friend. I can't believe that my Dad would think that. No, none of us know these sports stars, but we sit in front of our TVs and we pay money to go to their games to watch them play. We love them when they play good and win the game and we hate them when they play bad and lose the game. Sports stars are much more than just people we watch on TV or people we watch from the stands, they are like family. If that had been Vladimir Guerrero, or Brady Quinn, or Natalie Gulbis, or anyone else, I would be on suicide watch. This is much more than a hobby, this is much more than a game, this is life and these players have a huge impact on my life.

To Nick, his family and his friends; I will keep you in my prayers.

I had such a bad day.

I woke up this morning, super tired. I didn't want to wake up, but I had to because I had to go to school.

My Mom smokes the whole ride to school and the whole ride home and everything in between. Her smoking is starting to make my eyes water, which is nice. There's nothing like going to school with a headache and your eyes watering. [/sarcasm]

Brad wasn't at Vons, which I haven't seen him in weeks. I don't know whether or not I will ever see him again, either. My Dad was bitching that my Mom spends too much money at the grocery store (which is not true) and he said that she should start shopping at another grocery store. My Mom said that she was going to go shopping at WinCo tomorrow and I asked her, "Are we going to start shopping at WinCo now?" and she said, "No. We will probably start shopping at Food 4 Less." I wanted to shoot myself. I hate Food 4 Less. It seems like every crack head that lives in Victorville, shops at Food 4 Less. I like Vons. I like a boy who works at Vons. I have spent the last, who knows how many months, getting to know this boy. I think he likes me and I like him. I'm unbelievably upset over this. I hope we at least go to Vons one more time and I hope this time, he's there and... I don't know.

Tim came over today and I can't stand him. He has been such a asshole to me ever since he started dating Krista. He makes me feel like I'm stupid and like I am nothing.

Amy has been a bitch to me the whole day. I did nothing to her, besides watch her child, though she doesn't pay me for it. I'm tired of her using me. I'm tired of her only being nice to me when she wants something from me. I can't stand her, either. She's a bitch. When she came home from work, she was talking to Tim on the phone. Serenity started telling her a story and she stopped talking to Tim for a couple seconds to listen to Serenity's story. I tried to tell her one sentence and she ignored me. Usually, I don't say anything when she ignores me, but this time I spoke up and she turns around, gives me her bitch face and asks, "What?!" and I said, "I was talking to you!" and she said, "I'm on the phone! How am I supposed to listen to three people talk at once?" Three people? She means that Tim, Serenity and I were all talking to her at once, which is untrue. I don't know whether or not Tim was talking to her, but Serenity wasn't talking to her, which would only make two people. 30 seconds ago, you were able to talk to 2 people.

Ashlee made me the most beautiful icons I have ever seen, which made my day better.